The holidays.. .and unrelated dating ponderings.

So, the holidays are over now. From Her daughter and the girl's new family I got my usual gift. The same one I've gotten virtually every year for 5 years now. The gift I love and look forward to. It's a picture of her. I look forward to this gift every year. Looking at the pictures from year to year, you can see the difference as she grows up and gets over her grief. This latest picture is great. Just like in all of them she's so incredibly beautiful. She looks exactly (literally) like her mother. Everyone I show it to simply comments that it's just like looking at Her -- this is doubly good. . .

For all the joy these pictures bring, they cause the same amount of pain. Every time I am with her and have to take her back to her family it breaks my heart. . .

But this thought always takes me on to dating. . .why?

Well, I'm in my mid 30s now. It's not particularly easy to find women around this age that doesn't already have children. Now, in case you haven't noticed, I take well to children and love them. This creates a problem. I would have no trouble spending the rest of my life with a women with her own children, but I couldn't handle breaking up with one. I've already essentially lost one such child to a relationship like this, or at least that's sort of how it feels (with liberties taken). I could handle breaking up with women -- and have in the past few years -- but I couldn't handle breaking up with another kid. Not at all. That would kill me. So now, where am I left when it comes to dating?